Why forgive?

                      Why forgive? Because it frees you.

                                    To err is human; to forgive, divine.
                                                       -Alexander Pope

Fred Luskin, Ph.D., cofounder and director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, defines it as "…the moment to moment experience of peace and understanding that occurs when an injured party's suffering is reduced by the process of transforming a grievance they have held against an offending party."

. "Forgiveness is like a muscle: When you practice on smaller things, you gain the skill to deal with bigger ones, "Uniformly, people who are taught to forgive become less angry, more hopeful, less anxious, less stressed, and more confident," says Luskin

"We find that if people are able to make a move toward forgiving, if their heart is able to soften some and they feel somewhat less resentment, there's a substantial improvement in their emotional health," says Robert Enright, Ph.D., author of Forgiveness is a choice.

Furthermore , the benefits extend beyond the psychological., studies are uncovering evidence that practicing forgiveness (essentially, releasing those toxic feelings) can improve physical health in significant ways .

A study in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that the spikes in blood pressure we experience during stressful situations fell back to normal faster in people who were more forgiving of a betrayal. They had lower blood pressure too. Research from the University of Wisconsin-Madison showed that people holding a grudge had more heart problems than those who forgave. Even imagining the act of forgiving can help: When 71 subjects in a study were told to think about giving up a gripe, their cardiovascular and nervous system functioning improved; they also had less muscle tension in their faces.

Some things to ponder over.. 

• Forgiveness is not forgetting.
• Forgiveness is not pardoning, excusing, or stating that an offense will be treated as acceptable behaviour in the future.
• Forgiveness is a gift, primarily for you.
• There is a difference between forgiving from the mind and forgiving from the heart, forgiving from the heart is like the forgiveness of God.
• Forgiveness is a path to freedom. It frees one from leaking energy to the 'offender.'
• Forgiveness can break patterns that would otherwise interfere with future relationships.
• Forgiveness can be very hard and very easy that moment you choose to do it.
• Forgiveness need not require reconciliation.
• Forgiveness must start with forgives of the self, even if this means forgiving yourself for not being able to forgive.